A quiz won't tell you. A four-question walk-through can. Answer honestly — including the parts you've been minimizing.

1. Can she safely live alone right now — including overnight?

Honestly: if you weren't checking in every day or paying for someone to, would she be safe? Forget pride. Look at the falls, the burned pots, the missed meds.

Yes → She likely belongs at home with services, or in independent living. Skip to the home-vs-facility walk-through.
No → Continue to question 2.

2. Does she know who you are, what day it is, where she is?

Cognitive reality, not what she shows on a 20-minute visit. The "showtime" effect is real — many people with mid-stage dementia present beautifully for an hour, then get lost on the way to their own bathroom.

Yes, mostly → Continue to question 3.
No, or only intermittently → She likely needs memory care, not assisted living. The locked unit is the entire point. Read the comparison.

3. Does she need help with skilled medical tasks every day — wound care, IV, complex meds, oxygen, feeding tube?

This is the line between assisted living and a nursing home. Assisted living staff help with bathing, dressing, meals, and basic medication management. They are not nurses.

Yes → She likely needs a nursing home (skilled nursing facility), not assisted living.
No → Continue to question 4.

4. Does she have a terminal diagnosis with prognosis under 6 months?

Most families wait too long to ask this. The hospice benefit under Medicare is paid 100%, includes a nurse, an aide, a social worker, a chaplain, all comfort meds, and equipment. It can happen at home, in a facility, or in a dedicated hospice house.

Yes → Talk to her doctor about hospice this week. Most families later wish they had called sooner.
No → See the recommendation below.

The honest answer

If she answered "no" to question 1 and "yes" to question 2, she belongs in assisted living. Average cost: ~$5,500/month, paid out of pocket until Medicaid spend-down (in some states).

If she answered "no" to question 2, she belongs in memory care. Average cost: ~$7,500/month. The locked door isn't punitive — it's what keeps her from wandering into the parking lot at 3 AM.

If she answered "yes" to question 3, she belongs in a nursing home. Average cost: $9,000-$15,000/month depending on state. Medicare will cover the first 100 days only if it's after a qualifying hospital stay; everything after is out of pocket or Medicaid.

If she answered "yes" to question 4, the question isn't where — it's hospice. Medicare pays. It can happen wherever she already is.

Talk to someone who's done this thousands of times.

Palmelle's placement advisors won't tell you what to do. They'll help you sort what's actually in front of you — and find a real place if you want one.

Get a real opinion

What level of care does Mom actually need?