The questions you'd ask a friend in the business — answered straight.
No script. No upsell. The 25 hardest calls families face in the second half of life — what to do, what to skip, and what nobody at the facility tour will tell you.
How much does assisted living actually cost?
Plan for 30% above whatever they quoted you. Otherwise the second year is the one that breaks the budget.
PayingWill Medicare pay for assisted living?
No. Not a dime. Plan for it now and the move stays your decision instead of a crisis.
PayingDoes Medicare pay for a nursing home?
Yes — for up to 100 days, with conditions you'll probably miss. Then nothing. Get the discharge questions right and you keep the benefit.
ChoosingWhat's the real difference between assisted living and a nursing home?
Pick by what your parent actually needs at 3am — not by which lobby looked nicer.
TimingWhen is it actually time for memory care?
The right time is before the crisis that forces it. Move on your timeline, not the ER's.
TimingHow long do people actually live in memory care?
Median 2–3 years. Plan finances for 5. The gap between those two numbers is the difference between staying in charge and ending up on Medicaid by surprise.
ChoosingIs the CMS 5-star rating reliable?
It's the best public signal you have, and it's still gameable. Read the inspection report, not just the stars — and you'll see what your tour guide isn't telling you.
ChoosingWhat's a Special Focus Facility, and should I avoid one?
Yes. It's the easiest disqualifier in the dataset, and most families never check.
HospiceWhat's the average length of stay in hospice?
About 70 days. Most families wait too long — and lose the part that would have helped them most.
HospiceWhat's the difference between hospice and palliative care?
Both make hard illness easier to live with. Hospice is the Medicare benefit with a 6-month rule. Palliative care isn't.
HospiceDoes Medicare pay for hospice?
Yes, in full — and it's the most generous Medicare benefit nobody uses in time.
ChoosingHow do I actually read a CMS inspection report?
Skip the cover page. The deficiency narratives are where the truth is — and they take 15 minutes to read.
ChoosingWhat questions should I actually ask on a facility tour?
Don't ask the marketing director. Ask the person mopping the floor — and tour twice, once unannounced.
ChoosingWhat are the warning signs of a bad nursing home?
Smell. Call lights flashing. The hallway is too quiet at the wrong time. The website tells you nothing.
PayingWhat is the Medicaid 5-year look-back?
Anything you transferred in the last 60 months counts. Plan five years out and the family keeps options. Plan one year out and it's already too late.
PayingCan I keep my parent's house if they go on Medicaid?
Sometimes — and the answer depends on what you do five years before the application, not five months.
ChoosingShould my parent age in place or move to care?
Age in place if the home cooperates and the support is real. Move when staying becomes the harder of the two — and don't wait for the fall to make the decision for you.
ChoosingShould I trust review sites like A Place for Mom or Caring.com?
They get paid when you move in. Use them with that fact in mind, or use sources that don't.
ModificationsWhat home modifications matter most for aging in place?
Bathroom grab bars, no-step entry, lever handles. The other 47 things on the list can wait.
ModificationsShould I install a stair lift or move?
If stairs are the only barrier and you love the house — install. If they're one of five barriers — move sooner than you want to.
ChoosingIs a continuing care retirement community (CCRC) worth it?
If you're 70, healthy, and the math works without straining liquidity — maybe. If you're 80 and choosing under pressure — almost never.
TimingHow do I have the conversation about moving to care?
You don't have one conversation. You have nine. Start before there's a crisis and the family stays a family.
ChoosingShould I worry about a memory care facility's antipsychotic-use rate?
Yes. A high rate means the building sedates when it should staff. The number is published — most families never look.
RegulatoryHow do I report a bad nursing home?
Call your state's long-term care ombudsman. Free, confidential, federally mandated. Most families don't know they exist — and the ones that use them get results.
PayingWhat's the cheapest way to pay for long-term care?
Long-term care insurance bought at 55. Since you didn't, here are the four other paths — used in combination, not in isolation.