Why Your Aging Parents Aren't Selling Their Homes (And What It Means For You)

Many older homeowners are delaying selling their homes, not just for lifestyle reasons, but due to financial realities. This 'lock-in' effect exacerbates the national housing shortage by keeping inventory off the market. For instance, Peter St. Onge notes that the average American has two-thirds of their retirement wealth tied up in their home

There are now a half million more house sellers than buyers. That's the worst since the 2008 housing crisis. The average American has two-thirds of their retirement in their home. If housing breaks, they break.

— Peter St Onge, Ph.D. link

. If housing prices falter or they can't afford necessary repairs, their retirement is at risk. This financial bind also makes multigenerational living a practical, often necessary, solution for families needing to pool resources or provide care, rather than a mere preference. As Will Schryver points out, 72% of homeowners plan to stay put, often due to the high cost of moving or the expense of major home systems like HVAC, which can cost 20-25% of a home's value to replace when buying new

State of home service spending (HVAC) 72% of homeowners plan to stay in their current homes for the foreseeable future When people buy a home, 20% - 25% of the time they replace the HVAC system But there’s a double hit to replacement demand Existing homeowners sitting on… https://t.co/novAXfbd3N

— Will Schryver link

.

The idea that seniors are simply 'comfortable' in their homes belies a stark financial reality. Peter St. Onge highlights that for many, their home represents two-thirds of their retirement assets

There are now a half million more house sellers than buyers. That's the worst since the 2008 housing crisis. The average American has two-thirds of their retirement in their home. If housing breaks, they break.

— Peter St Onge, Ph.D. link

. This isn't just a comfortable nest egg; it's their primary, and often only, source of significant wealth. This massive equity is difficult to tap into without selling, especially if interest rates are high for reverse mortgages or if they fear depleting their savings too quickly. The fear of 'breaking' if housing prices decline, as St. Onge warns, is a powerful deterrent against selling into a potentially uncertain market. It means that for many, staying put is less about preference and more about financial survival, a crucial point missed by those who frame it as a lifestyle choice.

While staying in a familiar home might seem cost-effective, the reality of aging in place often involves significant, unexpected expenses. Will Schryver notes that a substantial percentage of homeowners plan to remain in their current homes

State of home service spending (HVAC) 72% of homeowners plan to stay in their current homes for the foreseeable future When people buy a home, 20% - 25% of the time they replace the HVAC system But there’s a double hit to replacement demand Existing homeowners sitting on… https://t.co/novAXfbd3N

— Will Schryver link

. However, older homes often require major overhauls. Shawn Gorham observed a 92-year-old seller who, despite being sharp, likely needed substantial work done on her home, implying that older sellers may not always be aware of or able to afford the necessary repairs

92 year old seller - still very sharp First thing I did is ask if she had family close and make sure they were in the meeting I could have swiped a lot of equity, but then I would have to look in the mirror and sleep at night What I have noticed about older sellers they have…

— Shawn Gorham link

. As J. Daniel Sawyer points out, some homeowners, even affluent ones, may lack the knowledge for essential maintenance, leading to situations where 'basically the whole building needs a major overhaul' every couple of decades

Having restored a couple homes owned by retirees in my life, I can verify: Some homeowners, even very affluent ones, know dick about home maintenance. The result is that, about every 20 years, basically the whole building needs a major overhaul. In mild climates (like most of… https://t.co/ApbYltgwmh

— J. Daniel Sawyer link

. This can mean costly HVAC replacements, roof repairs, or structural issues that can run into tens of thousands of dollars, further trapping seniors in homes they can't afford to maintain or sell.

The rise in multigenerational living is often portrayed as a positive cultural shift, a return to traditional family values. However, for many, it's a pragmatic response to economic pressures, directly linked to older homeowners delaying sales. When adult children face unaffordable housing markets or high living costs, and their parents are financially 'locked in' to their homes, combining households becomes a logical, albeit sometimes strained, solution. This arrangement can help manage household expenses, provide care for aging parents, and offer childcare support. It's a financial strategy born out of a housing market that makes independent living increasingly difficult for multiple generations, a trend exacerbated by the lack of available homes due to senior 'lock-in'.