The most important thing is to have the conversation early, before a health crisis hits. Gently explain that you want to understand her wishes so you can honor them when the time comes. Offer to start with less daunting topics like her preferred nursing home or memory care facility, if that's the level of care she may need. Make it clear you're coming from a place of love and wanting to ensure her final years are as comfortable as possible.

It's one of the most difficult conversations anyone will ever have, but putting it off can have devastating consequences. Without clear advance directives, your family could be left to make agonizing decisions on your behalf during a health crisis. You may end up in a nursing home or memory care facility you didn't want, or receive medical interventions that go against your wishes.

Research shows that people who have discussed and documented their end-of-life preferences are far more likely to receive the care they want. A 2017 study in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society found that only 37% of those without advance directives received end-of-life care aligned with their preferences, compared to 68% of those who had an advance directive.

The bottom line? Having this conversation now, while you or your aging parents are still healthy, can give you peace of mind and ensure your final wishes are honored.

Broaching the topic of end-of-life planning can feel impossibly difficult. Many people avoid it because they don't know how to start. But the key is to approach it gradually, focusing first on less daunting topics.

Start by discussing your parents' preferences for their future care. What type of nursing home, memory care facility, or in-home assistance would they want? What's most important to them — proximity to family, amenities, cost? Gently explain that understanding these preferences now will make things much easier down the line.

Once you've laid that groundwork, you can move the conversation to advance directives. Explain that a living will and power of attorney for healthcare are essential to ensure their wishes are followed. Offer to help them complete these documents, rather than expecting them to tackle it alone.

Finally, discuss their thoughts on palliative and hospice care. Many people mistakenly believe these are only for the final days of life, when in fact palliative care can provide comfort and support for years. Understand their views on quality of life versus quantity, and how they want to spend their final days.

It's common for aging parents to resist these conversations. They may feel it's tempting fate, or simply be in denial about their own mortality. If your parent is stubbornly refusing to discuss end-of-life plans, don't give up.

Explain that you're coming from a place of love, not an attempt to take control. Assure them that you respect their autonomy, but want to ensure their wishes are honored. Suggest starting small, maybe just discussing their preferred nursing home or memory care facility.

If they still refuse, enlist the help of a neutral third party they trust — a doctor, religious leader, or even a family friend. Sometimes hearing the same message from someone else can make all the difference.

Above all, be patient and compassionate. This is an incredibly difficult topic, and it may take multiple conversations before they're ready to engage. The key is to keep the lines of communication open.